The biggest issue facing England at the tail end of this Ashes series wasn’t injuries, selection, or even conditions. It was ideology. Specifically, Brendan McCullum’s unshakeable belief that Bazball is the only way to play Test cricket — and that questioning it is somehow offensive.
Former England captain Nasser Hussain had the nerve to ask the obvious:
“Are you going to change your ways, or is this the way you’re going to play?”
McCullum’s response was as revealing as it was arrogant:
“I sort of take offence to that, to be honest.”
Offence? England have been nowhere near good enough for the past 18 months. They’ve been battered 4–1 in the Ashes by an understrength Australian side and managed only a 2–2 draw against a transitional Indian team missing Rohit Sharma and Virat Kohli. These aren’t isolated blips; they’re patterns.
And yet McCullum, reportedly earning around £2 million a year, continues to push a one-dimensional brand of cricket that offers all attack and absolutely no contingency. It’s the cricketing equivalent of Ange Postecoglou’s football: bold, entertaining, and completely allergic to a Plan B. Test cricket, however, demands Plans C and D as well — especially away from home.
England’s batting lineup reflects this rigid thinking. Crawley, Duckett, Brook, and Jamie Smith all operate in one gear, regardless of match situation. Smith in particular produced some extraordinary dismissals throughout the series. His effort against Marnus Labuschagne — a shot so ill-advised it deserves its own warning label — may well go down as one of the worst pieces of shot selection in Test history.
Which makes the most interesting takeaway from the fifth Test all the more damning for Bazball.
Because England’s two best innings didn’t come from chaos. They came from control.
Joe Root’s 160 was compiled over 242 balls. Jacob Bethell’s superb maiden hundred — 154 off 256 deliveries — was the work of a player with technique, patience, and a deep understanding of Test cricket. No dancing down the track. No reckless ramps. Just discipline and trust in defence.
In other words, the exact opposite of Bazball.
Bethell, at just 22, already looks like a serious talent. More importantly, he showed that England’s young batters can play proper Test cricket when allowed to. Alongside Root, he proved that grinding it out still works — even in an era obsessed with aesthetics.
Which brings us neatly to the match itself.
After the farce of the two-day Melbourne Test, the spotlight heading into the fifth Test fell squarely on the SCG curator, Adam Lewis. Under pressure from Cricket Australia and the wider cricketing world, Lewis delivered a pitch that restored faith.
There was seam for those willing to hit the right areas, runs for batters prepared to work, and genuine turn as the match wore on. Five days of proper Test cricket — a concept that felt oddly refreshing.
Four players scored centuries: Head, Smith, Root, and Bethell. Australia eventually prevailed, even if a slightly nervy fourth-innings chase of 160 caused a few raised heart rates. But the pitch, the contest, and the cricket itself were everything the Melbourne Test was not.
And that’s the ultimate irony for England.
On a pitch that demanded patience, adaptability, and intelligence, Bazball was exposed. England’s best performances came when players ignored the doctrine and reverted to traditional Test methods. The talent is there — unquestionably.
The question now isn’t whether England have the talent. It’s whether Brendan McCullum is the right man to nurture it.
Because if England genuinely want these young batters to reach their true potential, they may need a coach who understands that Bazball shouldn’t be a religion — just one tool in a very full kit. Test cricket demands flexibility, humility, and the ability to adapt when conditions, opposition, and reality push back.
And maybe, just maybe, they need a coach who doesn’t take offence when the obvious questions are asked.
